In this Brexit soap opera, it’s time for Emmerdale-plus-plus | Marina Hyde

From Jacob Rees-Mogg to Nigel Farage, the characters are universally awful. Only an extreme plot twist can resolve things

How are you enjoying your 12 days of Brexit Christmas? Every 24-hour cycle forces a re-evaluation of which logical possibility is nesting inside which parliamentary impossibility. It’s like waking up with a hangover each morning, then having John Bercow explain Inception to you. Forever.

Today’s temporary lightbulb moment was the Times story explaining that in the event of a no-deal Brexit, ministers will have the power to overrule GP prescriptions to prevent shortages. Well. I haven’t consulted the spiderweb of yarn and mugshots that now covers all my walls, but I’m pretty sure Jacob Rees-Mogg will be rations secretary in the event of no deal. Ah … but of course – how could I have been so naive? THIS was what was meant by “taking back control”: Jacob Rees-Mogg taking back your birth-control pills. It was him all along – the Gilead Keyser Söze.

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